Ray Sheers

Word has reached me that there are some bizarre rumors and half-truths about my life circulating through cyberspace and that are being bandied about in certain smoke-filled pool halls. Let me set the record straight: I was not raised by four bearded ladies. I was raised by a pack of wolves in Canada. We're still very close. - There are countless nuts up and down my family tree. What family doesn't have a few cuckoos in its nest? - I was neither abducted by aliens, nor was I left here by them; though several family members will swear to it. - I was not in a jazz band on the "Titanic" the night she went down. I just naturally have an inexplicable waterlogged look about me. - I did run away to join the circus when I was twenty-two, but no circus would have me. My lion taming skills are greatly exaggerated. - I believe in doppelgangers. In fact, when the moon is full I am often blamed for the illicit actions of my double. (Don't try the Doppelganger Defense in court. It will only make matters worse. Trust me.) - I have a ventriloquist's dummy in a suitcase down in my basement. I keep the suitcase locked, but he's learned how to pick the lock from the inside...much to the chagrin of my wife and two dogs. - I do not have a collection of glass eyes. It was stolen years ago. - The characters I create do steal my dreams away. I haven't slept a wink in seventeen years. - I believe this world is a crazy place no matter how you look at it, and if you squint just right you can almost make sense of it all. - I also believe (like Oscar Wilde) that life is too important to be taken seriously. Any questions?

Plays by Ray Sheers with Green Room Press:
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